We're Afraid of Our One-Year-Old

We have 10 reasons to suspect that our little girl will be surpassing us on an intellectual level pretty soon:

1. She cheats. When playing or learning a game, she devises ways to get the desired outcome quicker than the rules allow. She's also got the "drink of water/one more story" bedtime routine down pat.

2. She's a techie. She's constantly exploring how things work, instead of just enjoying them working. She tries to wind up her wind up toys, she knows how to operate the TV remote, she calls me on Proud Papa's phone, she tries to buckle herself in her high chair, she can undo the seatbelt to her carseat, and she can turn on and off the radio. And she's more computer-literate than the two of us combined. We have to read tutorials to figure out how to undo what modifications she makes on the Mac!

3. She loves books. It's the first thing she asks for when she wakes up, and she always wants to take one to bed with her. When presented with a pile of books, the first one she picks out is the one featuring abstract art. Hmmm, budding artist maybe?

4. She has a vocabulary of over 50 words. About 40 of which she can say, and 30 of which she can sign. 20 of which she can both say and sign. She learns a new word almost every day. She forms sentences such as "Want eat. Eat all done. Want [to be] all done."

5. We don't have to repeat the case of her musical ingenuity. Suffice to say, she likes to sing, repeat musical melodies, and bang on the drums and the piano. She can also play one note on the flute! We let her pick out a toy for her birthday at a toy store, and she chose a guitar. She tries to play her teeth and the jaw harp like Proud Papa does. When she's bored, she'll blow bubbles, raspberries, war-whoops, or "blub" her lips with her finger (you know, blblblblb!). This statement doesn't have anything to do with anything; just an interesting tidbit.

6. She thinks she's self-sufficient in matters of grooming. She likes to brush her own teeth and hair, wash her own face, and apply her own accessories. She thinks Proud Parents can use her help too. She'll try to put her own hearing aids in, and she'll take them out and give them to us when it's bedtime. She keeps checking Proud Papa's ears to find where he is hiding HIS hearing aids (he doesn't have any)!

7. She understands the ways of the world. She'll pick up the keys, or sling her arm through the diaper bag strap, and say "Bye-Bye!" She applies objects to concepts, i.e.: blanket, pillow, bear, crib, and people or animals lying down are all "night-night". Motorcycles and the garage door are synonymous with Daddy.

8. She understands right and wrong. She'll chastise herself before she does something she knows is a no-no. She'll also chastise her parents if they aren't meeting her expectations. "Uh-oh" with upturned palms is one of her favorite words.

9. She follows commands such as "open/close the door" or "put it in/on/away".

10. She has a huge head. That must mean something.

Maybe these are all appropriate milestones for a one-year-old. We don't know. What we do know is that if she keeps up this progress at this rate, she'll be making us out to be chumps pretty soon. Maybe she already has.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.